7 years today.

I'm missin my mum.  This is the longest ive gone without those strange dreams.  I used to dream about waking up and realizing that all of it was just a dream. The sickness, all the bullshit suffering no human should ever have to go through and having to say goodbye. I would run to my mom and tell her how happy I am she is still alive. Then she would look at me with a sad expression, shake her head... that is when I would wake up realizing that this is reality. Bad things happen to the best people.

Im not bitter. Sometimes I do look back in anger, but not at God. I look at the person I was back then and I was a terrible son. Immature and had no idea how to treat a suffering loved one. I'm sometimes angry at the person I was back then. So selfish and concerned with my own escape from the situation.

In the end of it, my mum realized how much happier she would be with Jesus. After so much fighting with that evil cancer, she must have been tired of this temporary tent of a body we have as mortal beings. It was time for her to go home.



Despite all of the hell that broke loose after my moms passing, long story short, its a miracle my family is together still.  I can still say "I love you" to my father. I can talk to my sister like one of my best friends. Even though we are living in different parts of the world, I think we are much stronger as a family today than we were back then.  I hope they feel the same way too.


And to my mum, its been 7 years.  I still miss you and wish I could share with you all the things ive done and places ive been these past few years. Im the same son, a little bit more mature and less selfish I would like to believe.

So in your memory,  today ill hit the gym harder, take a nice bike ride and eat a nice meal. Ill continue to try to live as a son you can be proud of. Amen.

PS. Milo misses you too.